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Cutting and burning myself with hot rusty metal isn?t my day job. I install security systems during the day, and do metalwork on nights and weekends. I also moonlight as a level 3, super top secret, government spy when I get the time, but since I just said that last one, it?s obvious I?m not a very good one.
Anyways, for my install job, I used to drive a full sized van. Now my company decided to get us all these things:
My wife calls it ?The Dorkmobile.?
My big boy van had a sweet center console that I could put file folders in, and had a flip down top that I could as a writing surface.
The new ?golf cart? I have barely has room for an ice scraper.
Here?s my temporary solution to the problem. Classy right.
It?s not like I?m the only one complaining about this either, there are 9 of us, and my bosses solution was to buy us each one of these:
Awesome right.
I decided to build one.
I have the technology?. (6 million dollar man reference there guys?)
I built this out of 14 G steel, probably shoulda went thinner as it?s kind of heavy and I?m concerned about the ?clown car? being able to hit 60 miles per hour now, but oh well. On the plus side, I can toss it out the window knowing it has enough mass to stop those pesky black SUV?s that chase me during my black OPS days? shhhhh?.
The holes in the side are for ratchet straps to go under the seat. It'll go in the passenger seat since nobody in their right mind will ride with me.
In the "Go-Cart", there?s not a lot of room for things like my calculator and gas card either, so I put these babies on it.
I?m not a caveman who stores his ball point pens in his butt cheeks, so I made some hi-tech storage containers for them.
In this pic you can also see the ?relief cuts? since I don?t have any way to make nice bends in 14G steel yet. I use those a lot on stuff like this.
I like my writing surfaces, like I like my women... flat and close to me. So I incorporated a sweet sliding top for it, so I don?t have to reach over that darn shifter.
Yeah, I know what you?re thinking ?Two separate tops, and ball bearing sliding rails for it, all in 14 gauge steel? that top?s gotta be heavy!? You?re right. My pencil thin arms and weak muscles are no match for it, but I have a big fat head filled with what I assume is Ramen noodles, and brains, so I came up with this: HYDRAULIC ASSIST BABY!
That large caevernous area on the right is where the file folders will now sit.
I even put a little shelf inside to hold all my stuff like extra pens, business cards, brass knuckles, poison darts, and my lucky rabbits foot.
Hey look at that, the pen holder is only held in place with magnets, in case he really doesn?t need any more pens! Someone was using his ramen noodles again?..
I hope you enjoyed reading about this, as much as I enjoyed making it, now I'm going to go burn that old cardboard file box, in defiance.
You seriously should take up writing! That will keep me chuckling all day... "I like my women flat and close to me" tooooo much! 
I posted it in the pictures under xmas gifts if you want to see what it looks like. 
